Wednesday 15 July 2015

A Zest for St Tropez


I don’t really have patience or time for fake tan

Ok, that’s a complete lie. The minute I have an impromptu invite to a party or event I immediately panic about how pale I look and decide I need to look not Caucasian, immediately

Normally, my paleness does not bother me that much at all. But in these moments of panic, inevitably, utter disaster ensues. Is orange really the new black when it comes to cheap, wash-off tanning products?

In short, the answer is yes. Wash-off tanning products never give you that sun-kissed glow you crave. The (inevitable and ongoing) financial restrictions any recent graduate suffers also leave you with little option but to look akin to Susanna Reid on an off-white day. No money + wash off product  = streaky bacon.

(N.B. Avoid, avoid, avoid: most Ambre Solaire, any tanning products Tesco branded, and the worst -  Fake Bake.)

St Tropez are not renowned for being inexpensive; especially when they market ‘tan-enhancing’ moisturisers and ‘tan-optimizer’ shower creams to go alongside your actual tanning products, leaving you to potentially cough up around £50 in total (depending on what degree of bronze goddess you desire). Enter their brand-spanking new formula: St Tropez In-Shower Tanning Lotion. This product had an introductory price of £9.67. Of course, one races to Debenhams, House of Frasers and Boots to find any left in stock…

The only add-on product you really need for this is a pair of exfoliating gloves, which you should have anyway – a regular exfoliation of the skin helps reduce cellulite and cleanse away dead skin cells – and, of course, a shower.

So you’re in the shower, and, after exfoliating, you turn the shower off and lather this sweet-smelling product on every inch of your skin and leave for three minutes, as advised.

One thing you don't realise when reading the instructions - is what the hell do you do for those three minutes?! Various options, I suppose: clean bathroom/comb conditioner through hair/ brush teeth/apply face mask. Naked and covered in product, naturally. 

So, when it comes to rinsing, really really rinse this product off, especially your neck and feet. The first time I used in-shower St Tropes, I did not wash it properly off my neck and it did leave a nasty residue, although nothing quite like my senior school fake bake disaster circa 2007 (shudder).

Results:

The product promises to give you a gradual tan in three minutes. Of course, if you require instantaneous brownness it won’t help much; you can only really notice an application after 3-4 gos. 

Initially I didn’t think this product would help me with my impatience attitude towards looking brown – and don’t get me wrong, after just one try you won’t see much difference. But once you realise just how beautiful this tan comes through you will slow down and give gradual tan a try. Evenness, and not a hint of orange. And best of all…no streaks! No brown sheets! No brown water in the shower! A truly tan-tastic product. Why hasn’t any one else thought of an in-shower formulation!? 

I have to say that I actually do look rather sun-kissed. No-one except you and I needs to know that I've been stuck in a grey-skied London since starting to use the product three weeks ago. ;)

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